The semester is coming to an end and I cannot wait! I will be getting my associate's at the end. Things are finally panning out how I need them to. My life is making itself how I want it to. I have had such an amazing life thus far. I have experienced a lot of things and have met a lot of people. I have one problem though.
I WANT TO GET OUT OF MICHIGAN!
I feel as though the only thing holding me here is my school and my job.
Sure, I love my family and friends.
Sure they will be sad to see me go.
Of course they have a hold on me and I do not want to leave them behind.
However, I feel like I need to.
I need to get out and experience things. I need to go on adventures.
Before I die I want to be able to say that I have seen the entire United States of America. We sure do have some beautiful sites here.
A friend of mine took a road trip this summer over to the west coast. How jealous am I? I wish I could just drop everything for a month long road trip.
Some day I will be able to.
When I am done with Wayne State I will be able to just go.
I will be able to get in my car and just drive.
I do not know where God will take me but he will take me to amazing places.
I feel as though he wants me to be on my own.
Perhaps I will come back home.
Perhaps I just need to go to realize how much I love my family.
They know I do.
I know I do.
I just really really really really really need to go.
I have ants in my pants.
I have been in Michigan for too long.
As soon as I am done seeing the United States I will be off to see England, Germany, Italy, etc.
I definitely want to go see the old concentration camps.
I want to see a play in the Globe theatre.
I want to see a play on Broadway.
Hell, I want to live on Broadway if that is possible.
I know. I know. New York is expensive. Yaddy yaddy yaddah.
However, if God wants me to live there, he will make it happen.
Somehow I will live in New York if that is where I am meant to be.
I have prayed on this numerous times and it seems like I am constantly getting signs that that is where I will end up someday.
Perhaps I am looking too much into it?
Also...
I need to reevaluate my perfect match.
On paper needs to match with reality.
I thought my expectations were good.
I did not think they were too high.
I do not expect a lot.
I just want to be respected as a woman.
I want the be respected as a woman who makes money.
Most of all...
I WANT TO BE ABLE TO PAY FOR SOME THINGS!
I want a Christian man. BUT
I do not want a holy roller.
There is a difference.
I see the difference everyday.
Yes, I still plan on flying solo until at least the summer.
I wonder if God wants me to go to Disney in the summer?
I try to be in control of my life.
I try to be in control of my plans.
BUT
God is in control.
He always has been.
This is harder for me to admit than anything thing else.
I know he is in control yet, I want to be the one that is.
I think we have come to an understanding, that guy above and I.
He (somewhat) lets me believe that I am in control. He lets me think that I have my life in my hands.
BUT
I know that he is in control. I just like to believe somedays that I am.
That way,
When something goes wrong...
Or my life does not go as planned...
I do not blame him.
I blame myself and start to reevaluate.
I do not want to get mad at him if things do not go according to plan.
I know that there is a meaning to everything.
I know he has a plan that makes sense to only him.
I just hope I am following along in his plan. I hope I am fulfilling my reason for being on the mostly beautiful planet.
Well I guess I wrote enough non sense for the day.
I hope this blog does not make me seem depressed.
Because
I am not.
I promise.
I will tell you if I am.
Have a great day friends!!!!!!
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