Sorry I left the blogging scene for quite some time. I have not felt inspired to write. Why would I write if I am just going to write nonsense? I want to write things that I feel are worth reading. I jotted down a blog during Economics class but of course I could not find it.
I have been thinking a lot lately about my life. My love life in particular. It is such a mess right now. Why can't I just find a good guy? I know all the reasons. HE will be there when you are ready. He will find you when you are not looking. Maybe it is not a good time for you to be in a relationship. You should spend some time being single. Screw that! I do not want to be single. I am sick of being single.
A few weeks ago my family spent the night at this lodge up north. It was sort of our Christmas party. Well because I was the only adult without a significant other, I got to sleep in my grandma's room. I mean it wasn't bad. It was fun actually but still. I felt like a child. I try to put on a happy face for everyone. I smile more than most but I am lonely. I do not even enjoy my own company these days. That was something I used to always thrive on. I used to always enjoy spending time alone. Lately I hate the thought of being alone.
I am 24. I am not getting any younger.
I do not want your sympathy. I do not need hugs. I just miss having that one person that I knew I could always count on to be there when I needed to talk. I miss that companionship. Please do not call or text me and ask if I am okay. I will probably lie anyway. I just need time to sort this out in my head. I need to get comfortable with being by myself again. Heaven knows I could be this way for a long time.
Please do not message me. I am not asking for anyone's sympathy. I just needed to vent. I will be okay. For now I just need figure out this thing called life. Well at least I need to figure out where I stand in my relationship with me. But do not worry about me okay? I am strong.
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