Those teachable moments...

I have had some amazing teachers in my life. They have taught me so many different lessons. Not all of these teachers were in a classroom setting.

My parents are two of the best teachers I have had. Besides the fact that my mom is the only one of the two that actually teaches for a living. My dad teaches in a sense. He is constantly instructing the staff that is below him. They have taught me to love. They have taught me that God loves me no matter what I do or say. I could list everything but the list goes on to eternity. Even though I am twenty four, I am still learning from them.

My sister is also a great teacher of mine. She does not realize this but I have been following her for as long as I can remember. I would annoy her from time to time but I always looked up to her. I learned from her mistakes. I learned how to relate to our father through her. Which, if you know my father, he is not always the easiest person to relate to. I am not saying this in a mean way. I am just saying this as a fact.

Then there is Destinee. She has shown me that family does not always have to be blood related. The family bond can be thicker than blood. God put her in my life for a reason. I will never regret approaching her the first day I saw here walk onto the soccer field with her family. I will never regret telling her that she could not push me away and that no matter how hard she tried, I would always be in her life.

Mr. Humphrey showed me that being a Christian can be cool. We all know that in high school peer pressure is thick. We want to be cool. We want to be able to fit in with the crowd and not be that kid. (You know the kid that is only ever remembered in negative ways?) He taught me to love myself. Of course he also taught me some science but naturally I forgot those facts already. I do remember him telling us that the sky was actually purple but our eyes are sensitive to the color blue so we see it as blue. Even to this day when I bring it up, no one believes me. I back it up with, "Well Mr. Humphrey said that.." Obviously if he said it, it has to be true. This is terrible but it has helped me a lot over the years. He also, unintentionally, taught me how to squeak my way through a class and manage a minimum grade.

Dearest Mr. Humphrey,

If you are listening, it it thanks to you that I have a hard time listening to Amazing Grace. Every time I hear it, I am reminded of you singing it as we all stand, shivering, around the flag pole in front of the school. This image haunts my memories every time I hear the song and I cannot shake it. I cannot forget how you smiled through the entirety of the class period, even if someone upset you. I cannot forget how happy you were to be doing what you loved. You were an amazing teacher and I was so blessed to have you in my life even for a very short period. It was that period of my life that was so crucial and you helped me through it more than you knew.

Thank you.

Now I cannot go through and list every single teacher that has impacted my life in some way or another. I have been lucky to have some really amazing ones of the years. I am not sure if this is coincidence but the English teachers, except Mrs. Pastoria, tend to be my favorites. They tend to influence me to be the best writer that I can be without even trying.

Control

God is amazing. He never ceases to amaze me in what he does. He has created so many beautiful things in this world. Look at the flower below. It is beautiful. When I first saw it, I knew I had to take a picture of it. It is so intricate. It is breath taking.

I went to church with the some friends the other day and the message really got to me. At one point the priest said, "You have to allow the spirit control in your life." I know I have an issue with control. I know that I like to think that I

am in control of my life. I did not know where this stemmed from until recently.

It came from an ex boyfriend. When I was with him, I had no control. I would show up late for work and school. I was poor because I practically signed my checks over to him. My credit card debt was through the roof. He had all of the control. It was not until I broke up with him that I gained control.

Even in the after mass he managed to steal what little control he could from me. As hard as I tried to ignore his phone calls, I returned one. I returned a call after he told me he was going to commit suicide. He did not answer but retur

ned the call saying that he was in the bathroom. However it was me that obtained all the control

in the end. I changed my phone number so he was not able to call me. My manager talked to h

im for me when he came into my work demanding money. I ripped up the letter he left me and threw it in the trash. I was broken hearted at the words he said to me but in time all is healed.

From that moment on I have been obsessed with controlling my life. I panic when things do not go according to plan. I cry, I freak out, I yell, and I scream. It is scary. I get into a zone and I cannot stop myself.

I need to allow God in. I need to allow him some control in my life. As crazy as my world is he needs to wash over me and his deeds will be done. I will follow his will until the day I die. All I need to do is allow him some control. That is not as easy as it seems.

Nerd.

School starts tomorrow and I could not be more excited. I got my hair done. I have my books. My backpack is ready to go. It has been ready to go since July.

I am a nerd. Honestly, I am okay with that. I have an earning for learning. I have a need to always know more. I am constantly looking up information online just so I know that much more. No, I do not use Wikipedia. That is not a valid source of information. Anyone can post an article on there and call it fact.

I love studying. Receiving a good grade on a test is worth it all. It shows how much I can handle. It shows how much I can obtain and cram into my brain. I cannot promise that I will remember all the information after the test but that is irrelevant.

I love writing essays. This comes easy to me. I can write an essay in a few hours and obtain an A on it. I am not bragging. I am merely stating the facts. I analyze every book I read. I analyze every essay or paragraph I read. Every word has a more complicated meaning. Everything everyone says means something else to me.

I am constantly asking people to say what they really mean. I am constantly analyzing people. I have an obsession with trying to figure out why people think the way they do. Perhaps I should have gone to school for psychology? Life moves on.

How can I analyze so much, yet when it comes to math, struggle like mad? Well this blog makes no sense. I just really wanted to write.

Stop reading this, seriously.

Go see The Help. Seriously. Stop reading this and go see it. You all know I am going to just ramble nonsense. Your time would be better spent driving to the local theater and seeing this remarkable movie.

I do not cry in movies. Okay, I do cry in movies but only at stupid parts. I cried in the last Harry Potter movie when I saw certain people passed away. I cried in a flashback scene as the put the whole story together and wrapped it in a neat bow. (I cannot give away too much because I have been informed that some people who read that have not even read the book yet.) I consider them slackers considering the book has already been out for a few years now. Irrelevant.

I have no shame in the fact that I cried in this movie. I grew up with these characters and, in my mind, I was watching a very good friend pass away. It was hard seeing someone I got to know so well, through text, die such a terrible awful death.

I get so involved with characters in books. I get to know them as I watch them struggle. I learn all of their personality quirks in the worse and best scenarios. After reading the Harry Potter books several times throughout the years they have become like a second family to me. It was a safe place for me to go when the world around me let me down. The best part of this connection is when I find someone else who likes the series as much, or more than, I do. I know I am weird but I am perfectly okay with that.

Why are you still reading this? Get back to your life. Get back to work....since I know a certain someone reads this while at work. (Not saying any names of course). In fact I think there are a few people who read this while getting paid. Gee, I wish I could get paid to read non-sense. Instead I get paid to make people fat. I am a minute part of the reason why this country is so obese.

Seriously, stop reading. If you are not working go see that movie. If you are more connected with your emotions than I am you will cry. I almost cried but was unable to do so. I was touched by the movie and I can say, that without a doubt, it is one of the best movies I have seen in a very long time. Yes, this includes the last Harry Potter movie and that is saying a lot. You will laugh. I did. This is not saying much though because I laugh a lot. I like to laugh. It feels good. If you have seen it, you can relate to how powerful the message is behind it. You will be able to agree that the movie is simply phenomenal. And for the person who has not seen it yet...who I was apparently supposed to go see it with...I am sorry but I will go see it again. THAT is how good of a movie it was.

"Piece of Cake" review

I recently finished a memoir called "Piece of Cake." It was written by Cupcake Brown. She relives her life as she fell into drug and alcohol addictions.

This was one of the hardest pieces of material I have ever read. It was not challenging because of the language. Honestly, I flew through it because I was anxious for the poor girl's life to turn around. It was difficult because I had a hard time relating. I have always had a loving family. I have never been raped. I have never been forced to provide for myself due to an unjust judicial system.

At the same time, the way she talked, I felt like I was really getting to know Cupcake. I felt like she was a long lost friend with a story that I needed to hear. I have yet to determine what made me pick up the book. I do not know why exactly I read the book and was unable to put it down.

In my mind, I was cheering her on the whole way through the book. I kept thinking, you can get through this because I know how strong and determined you can be when it comes to getting what you want or need.

I cried many times throughout the novel. It touched me and really spoke to me. What really got me is that despite everything she put herself through, she was able to come out on top and become very successful. I am much younger than she is and still feel like a failure because I have not yet completed school or found the love of my life.

I am not giving up. I will have my life where I need it in six years.

I am the kind of person who when I read a good story I will share it with anyone who is willing to listen. With this being said, there are already three people who want to read the book now that I have completed it. The first girl has possession of it presently. She was pretty excited when I gave it to her today.

All in all I give "Piece of Cake" by Cupcake Brown 5 stars. I recommend it to anyone.

Pay it forward.

Have you seen that movie? The child has an amazing insight to life. He does good deeds for people and asks them not to pay him back. Instead he asks them to in turn, do something nice for someone else. Why are people so hesitant to lend a helping hand when needed? In the same sense, why are people so hesitant to ask for help when there is not way they can survive on our own? What has the world come to that, by offering a simple gesture, we think the worse possible scenario? As a society, we are very pessimistic and mistrusting.

I will lend a helping hand to anyone without thinking twice. I always want to believe the best in people. This causes me to be gullible. It causes me to believe that no one would possibly lie to me because I would not lie to them. It blinds me to people who are shady. I would never think that someone is trying to cheat me out of anything because I would not do that to anyone.

This is something that I am working on. I do not want to become a pessimist. I want to be able to trust people. I want to be able to see the best in people. At the same time, I am done with people taking advantage of me. I am done with people thinking that I am just the nice girl that will always be there to help out.

It took me twenty years but I can honestly say that I have a group of friends that I would trust with my life. Growing up and all through high school I did not have the nicest friends. If you are reading this, obviously I trust you. However in high school I wanted to fit in so badly that I did not care how badly my so called friends treated me. And trust me, they are not the nicest people. This being why I do not talk to a lot of them anymore but that is a whole other story.

If you have not seen Pay it forward, I recommend it. It has been around for 11 years already and I feel that it displays a really good message. If someone lends you a dollar, do not pay that dollar back. In turn , when someone needs a pop to quench a thirst, buy that person a pop. The would would be a happier place if people were just a little nicer to each other.

Have a good night everyone. I paid it forward today, did you?

Capture those memories.

I have wondered and wondered why I love photography so much.

I have six cameras. Two of them work. I have, over the years acquired quite t he collection of cameras. I have a Polaroid, Two fancy film cameras (That I do not know how to put the batteries in), a 35 mm camera, and two digital cameras. One of the digitals I use for events of the sort. I have a baby shower at the end of the month that I am being paid to take pictures at. How cool is that?! I have never NEVER been paid to do photography before so this is exciting in my world. There is another baby shower in September that I am also being paid for.

Maybe I should put an ad on Craig's List? I would not know how much to charge. The lady for the baby showers is giving me $25 for the first one. The second one is still up in the air and being negotiated.

I love the idea that with the click of a button, you can capture an image and it is yours to keep for as long as you want. You can capture memories and look back on them years and years down the line. You can capture the beauty of a flower, and even if the flower dies, you will always have the beauty of it in the photography.

There was this tulip in my mom's garden. I got more excited about it than she did. It was all white, except one petal. One petal was half white and half red. I could not get over how much this flower fascinated me. I have never seen anything like it. I also could not understand why my mom was not as intrigued by it as I was. I showed the picture to several people and they were all impressed. I was actually accused of photoshopping the flower. There was no way in Heaven that that flower could exist without the help of technology.

Right.

I live my life behind my camera lens. I live to capture as many moments as possible. I am constantly taking pictures. With the exception of when I am at work (even then I have a camera phone) I always have a camera on me. I keep one on me. You never know when you are going to need it. Nature changes so rapidly. Things happen all the time around me that sometimes I wish I could capture and share with the world. There are times that the picture does the scene I am trying to capture no justice.

A few weeks ago a friend and I saw a rainbow. It was beautiful. We also could not understand where it came from because there was no prior rain. When I took a picture of it, there was no justice to be done. We were in awe at the beauty of the rainbow. I even pulled up to another car and made sure to point it out to them. If I enjoy it, why should I not allow someone else to enjoy it?

Have a nice day and don't forget to capture your life. ^_^